Articles

Bringing in a Brass Chamber Ensemble
Whether you play in a brass trio, quartet, quintet or sextet, an important technique for a group leader to master is the cue that brings the ensemble in at the beginning of a performance.  This multimedia article teaches a method that the Empire Brass has used for over three decades and has taught to hundreds of other brass ensembles.
Because of the online video demonstrations throughout this article, it is best view using a high speed connection.  The video clips are in Flash format.  If your Flash plug-in is outdated or not installed yet, you may be prompted to download the most recent version.  Due to Microsoft’s update of Internet Explorer in April 2006, you may have to click on the video once to “activate” it and then click on it again to begin playback.

Diversity in Phrasing
The elegant and imaginative shaping of a musical phrase requires the use of many techniques.  This article describes these techniques and how they may be applied to create a more rounded performance.  An even broader understanding of when to apply the techniques described here can be gained by first reading its companion essay, Intelligent Design.

Gate Checking Your Large Musical Instrument (or Case)
If your instrument or the case you’re using (i.e., double, triple or quad-case) is too large to be considered a carry-on item, you have two choices when you fly in the United States: check your instrument as baggage or buy a seat for it.  If you fly often, purchasing an extra seat on every flight may not be practical.  So how do you minimize the risk to your instrument when you have to check it?  Try gate-checking it.

Intelligent Design
Playing what is written on the page is good.  It is also the least that is expected.  Capitalizing on the more hidden expressions in music requires that a performer first be able to find them.  The search for such moments often requires more than instinct but open-mindedness and objectivity as well.  This article examines the things to look for when mining a of piece music for hidden expressive opportunities.

Musical Chairs
The seating configuration of any wind ensemble does not have to be fixed.  In fact, moving instruments around for certain pieces may make more sense both practically and musically than one may think. Presented here is a perspective on seating configuration for bands and wind ensembles as well as a discussion of its many benefits.

Short Stories

How to be a Jazz Critic
Bill Anschell tells gives you all the catch phrases you need to know to become a first rate jazz critic.

Jazz Jam Sessions: A First-Timer’s Guide
Experience the comedic musing of writer/pianist, Bill Anschell, as you learn the proper etiquette and hidden dynamics of a jazz jam session.
This short story contains adult themes and language that some readers may find objectionable or offensive.  Readers’ discretion is advised.

There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute
This short story by Bill Anschell takes an inside look at the death-defying life of a staff musician aboard the S.S. Norway.
This short story contains adult themes and language that some readers may find objectionable or offensive.  Readers’ discretion is advised.

Searching for Glory at the Cookin’ Cadenza
Here’s a humorous tale about struggle of trying to be a “real” musician in the midst of mediocrity.
This short story contains adult themes and language that some readers may find objectionable or offensive.  Readers’ discretion is advised.

Careers in Jazz
A clear and concise dissertation on the structure of the jazz world and the interactions of its constituents.

Word of the Week

stringendo (Itl.) = pressing forward, accelerando—as in Stravinsky’s Petroushka

Featuring the voices of Steve Campbell (Minnesota Orchestra, tuba) and Michelle Montone Campbell (Florida West Coast Symphony Orchestra, bass clarinet)

Joke of the Fortnight

Bass Player Violations

NAME OF OFFENDER_____________
INFRACTION DATE _____________


MUSICAL VIOLATIONS:
Playing loudly during warm up - $10
Sound-checking amp with funk slapping - $25
Loud cursing after mistake - $10
Playing high and fast after mistake - $20
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes - $20
Asking for “E” tuning note - $25
Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb - $50
Playing written-out walking line - $50
Failure to play written walking line - $75
Writing note names over ledger-line notes - $50
Writing beat numbers under dotted figures - $50
Playing eighth notes - $5 each
Playing sixteenth notes - $10 each
Playing above 1st octave - immediate dismissal
Dragging fast tempo - $75
Dragging ballad tempo - $100
Blacking out during ballad - $200
Ignoring drummer’s tempo - $100
Following drummer’s tempo - $250
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me - $1000


UPRIGHT PLAYERS:
Showing up before first downbeat - $25
Playing audibly - $25
Faking changes - $25
Slapping - $150
Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass - $25
Excessive sweating - $25
Pedal point double-stops during horn solo - $50
Asking leader for a solo - $30
Accepting solo when offered - $50
Taking second chorus - $100
Playing solo arco - $400
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune - $100
Playing A Train ending on every tune - $200
Playing extended A Train ending on every tune - $500


ELECTRIC PLAYERS:
Checking hair between tunes - $15
Experimenting with odd meters - $25
Missing root at end of blistering fill - $25
Playing with a pick - $50
Tuning during ballad - $30
Playing Jaco groove on samba - $75
Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad - $150
Attempting last word on final chord - $50
Achieving last word on final chord - $100
Long gliss down to final note - $200


EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS (ELECTRIC):
Forgetting strap - $10
Changing strings after every set - $15
Using electric tuner - $15
Setting up mic “just in case” - $75
Forgetting to turn amp on - $40
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip - $50
Asking horn player for help moving amp - $25
Bringing custom-made bass - $100 per string above 4
Bringing more than 1 bass - $100 per extra bass
Skull decals on bass - $150
Bringing fretless bass - $500


CRIMINAL BAD TASTE:
Telling bone player about all the gigs you get - $10
Asking bone player about their day gig - $10
Sitting behind drums on break - $10
Quoting Birdland - $25
Practicing scales during break - $25
Practicing scales during drum solo - $50
Practicing - $150
Beginning a sentence with “When I was a guitar player...” - $50
Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are “into sequencing” - $10


BASIC STUPIDITY
Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt - $10
Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt - $20
Asking when the rock set starts - $20
Continually asking “Where are we?” - $25
Continually shouting “Yeah!” - $25
Asking bone player where “1” is - $50
Taking cellphone call during 4’s - $100

If you like this Joke of the Fortnight, tell a friend, bookmark this page and be sure to come back in two weeks.

Tip of the Month

When you absolutely, positively, have to get to a city for a concert or audition and your flight is canceled just minutes before it’s supposed to leave, don’t just get in line for rebooking with the rest of the passengers…

...pull out your cell phone.  If you’ve done a lot of air traveling, you’ve been the victim of last minute cancellations.  They can happen while you’re waiting in the gate area or after everyone has boarded the aircraft.  When a cancellation happens after you’ve boarded and you’re seated in row 25, don’t bother racing to get your luggage out of the overhead bins—you’re not going to be able to push your way to the front of the line.  If you have to be in your destination city by a certain time and it doesn’t look like you’re going to be among the first in line at the gate counter for rebooking, use your cell phone to call the airline’s reservations desk (or, even better, their frequent flyer reservations number if you have an account).

If the weather is good, tell the reservations agent on the phone that you’re at the airport and you’d like to make a reservation for the next flight that will get you to your destination city earliest (which, depending on layover times, may not be the next flight leaving).  If the weather looks bad for flying, ask to be booked to your destination on the next departing flight.  Confirm with the phone representative that the ticket you’re about to purchase can be cancelled within 24 hours, give them a credit card number and get a reservation confirmation number and seat assignment.  The phone representative may be unaware of the most recent cancellations so, don’t let them mess with your pre-existing reservation and be certain not to buy a ticket for that same flight that was just cancelled!

After you’ve booked your ticket, get in line for rebooking anyway.  If the line at the gate counter is extremely long you may want to try your luck at an airport customer service counter for your airline if you happened to have noticed one earlier.  When you finally do get face to face with an agent, see what he or she offers you.  If the agent offers you a seat on the flight that you just booked by phone (or a better one) take it.  After you get your seat assignment, call the reservations number back and, using your reservation confirmation code, cancel the reservation you made by phone (you can also ask the agent standing in front of you to do this).  If the agent stays that all the seats on earlier flights have already been assigned and offers you a seat on a flight that is leaves much later than the one you got on the phone, simply let the agent know that you are holding a seat on an earlier flight.  Give the agent the confirmation code and seat assignment and let them know that you would like to release that reservation and seat assignment to the ticket that he or she is currently trying to reroute for you.  Any airline employee who has a few years of experience will probably smile at your ingenuity and be happy to swap the seat assignment.  With less experienced employees you may have to talk slowly and explain what you have done.  Once you have a boarding pass for the new flight, ask the agent if they would cancel the other reservation (the one that you made over the phone with your credit card).  Even if they say they have done so, once you step away from the desk, call the reservations number again and verify with a phone agent that the reservation you made moments ago with your credit card has indeed been cancelled and your credit card will not be charged (you don’t want to pay for two tickets).  Be sure to use the right confirmation number when cancelling the temporary reservation to make certain you don’t cancel the reservation that you’re actually flying on! Take note of both the phone and airport agent›s names, just in case.

To show that you’re a real road warrior, before you walk away from the desk, ask for an airport meal coupon.  If your delay is the airline’s fault (e.g., equipment problems) and the delay is more than a couple hours, they will usually oblige.  If you ask quietly, the gate agents will appreciate the fact that you took measures not to alert the other 200-plus passengers that meal coupons can be requested and they will be more likely to grant your request than risk you raising a disgruntled voice and enticing a mad rush of hungry passengers to the counter.

This double booking technique is not without its risks; don’t forget to cancel that extra reservation before that flight takes off, even it means calling and having a non-traveling friend wait on hold for 30 minutes for a phone agent to cancel it for you while you continue your travels—but, when you absolutely, positively, have to get to a city that day, you’ll have to weigh these risks against the risk of missing your concert.